Weekend Artist’s Date
February 7th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I’m glued to the book “The Artist’s Way.” I can’t recommend it enough. There are two exercises that are unnegotiable which are the journaling, and the weekly artist date. I am so overwhelmed every day in my life I couldn’t conceive of taking time out once a week for an artist date. But once I committed to it, there was no going back. It doesn’t have to be anything profound. The artist’s date just takes you out of your “required” life in order to release the blocks from your creative energies. So in the end, you operate more effectively and become more proficient. It works. So this past weekend I went to the DIA in Beacon with a bunch of friends. Best weekend plans I’ve had in a long time. I was inspired the minute I stepped out of the car into the parking lot. I said to myself that I can’t believe I don’t just drive up here all the time and walk around. The change of scenery alone was inspiring and a release. The creative juices were overflowing and I just could not drink it in fast enough. Getting so wrapped up in the doing, we forget about the being within the doing and when that happens what’s the point?
parking lot and berries
parking space
scarred for life. creepy ketchup bottle with moving "doll eyes"
program hat
serra
serra
On Selling Yourself: To Be Or Not To Be
January 31st, 2012 § Leave a Comment
I’m always wondering just how much of myself to be all the time. I’m a pretty transparent and candid person and there are times where that is a good thing, and times where it’s not such a good thing. So when does it apply and when does it not? So many bios and profiles that I have read have run the gamut from the very intellectualized, to the very informal, to the very humorous. So when it comes to marketing, what should your approach be? I think that no matter which route you take, it has to be an honest representation of yourself. My subject matter is rather serious, but emotive. I feel that my words should match up with my photos. I’ve read too many statements, bios and manifestos, blogs what have you, that are so heavy with verbage that I can’t relate to what they are saying. Why can’t everyone just be themselves?
I’ve been in the market to collaborate with a writer. The two writers I had in mind, are “big names.” I sought the advice of a mentor of mine, who said “Don’t be daunted by the fact that these writers are well established. You are a human being, they are a human being, and through your work you share a common interest.” Why can’t it be this simple? I think it should be. In a perfect world I’d have relationships-working and otherwise, with people and organizations of not only like interest, but of like mind, heart and integrity. This is what I want to put out to the world, and what I hope to attract in return. I just think that people are afraid to be honest. Most importantly when you are honest with yourself, you automatically behave with integrity. You allow yourself to be open. There is nothing to hide, and that allows people to trust and respect you, and you will receive openness and honesty in return. This is why I found this article on submissions by Subvert Magazine , so refreshing. It’s not only clear and concise, it’s honest and real. And real is where it’s at.
Satya: Stand In Your Truth
January 24th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Stand In Your Truth
I’m back. Ok I have dropped the ball with my posts. What happened, is that I switched registars for all my domain names, and my blog fell off radar. “A records, MX records, zone mapping, C records etc etc.” I can point the domain but after that, I get lost. I need a GPS to navigate all the technical jargon that you are responsible for knowing in order to get out of bed these days. It’s all I can do to keep up with Trader Joe’s who for some reason (even unknown to the employees) likes to shift the foods in the aisles around every now and then just to keep our brains fresh. The reason all this happened in the first place, is because I decided to leave my registar (godaddy.com) due to the fact that it’s CEO Bob Parsons, shot an elephant and blogged about it. Despite his attempts to explain himself, taking video footage and photos of yourself proudly standing over it, to me, suggests another agenda. (Just sayin’) I should have jumped ship when it happened a few months ago but life took over and I just now got to switching registars. It took me 3 + days to get it all sorted out and get my emails and website up and running. Therefore, the lapse in posts. Certainly my $8.99 isn’t going to make a dent in godaddy’s bottom line, and I feel badly in the sense that the company’s technical staff is just stellar and I have only received excellent customer support from them. However, one has to live in their truth and I could not contribute to something that I consciously knew was objectionable to me. When you don’t live in your truth, something happens. You lose part of yourself and that’s a compromising way to live.
I don’t separate my yoga life from my creative life. They are one and the same and they feed and inspire one another. “One who shows a high degree of right communication will not fail in his actions.” (T.K.V. Desikachar’s translation of Yoga Sutra 11.36) I’m not talking about being self righteous. Satya, the sanskrit meaning “That which has no distortion” Clarity of expression. I’m talking about one’s own personal evolution. If your intention in your art and your life is with sound theory and practice, then the benefits will automatically manifest in your life. A recent example comes to mind when embarking on my most recent project. I had 2 project ideas in mind. I wasn’t deeply connected to them, one in particular I tried to make work as I was about to enroll in a project class with production timelines and I needed to come up with an idea soon. I kept trying to find an angle on this one particular idea, but it just wasn’t coming together and I was trying to make it into something that would resonate with me. As it turned out, I was denied access. So I tried project #2. I had a deeper connection to this project, yet at the same time, something seemed off about it that I couldn’t put my finger on. I have to have a certain feeling about a project that I take on at that particular point in time. I need to be connected to it at the most organic level. I kept telling myself I was excited about it but deep down inside the timing wasn’t right. I wasn’t truly invested. Turns out that someone had the same idea, and is currently doing the project right now. I was once again denied access. What to do?
Through my research I came across a link that peaked my interest. I investigated further and stumbled upon an idea that sits so well with me, aligns with the direction I’m going in with my projects right now – a perfect fit. What’s more is that I have complete access. The people I’m working with are warm, inviting, interesting and doing really wonderful work. Same views and philosophies. Accident? I personally don’t believe in accidents. I believe that circumstances, opportunities and lessons are all around us every single day and we are either open to them and tune in, or we’re unconscious to their cues. It’s an act of listening. There is a balance that comes with trying to make things happen which I absolutely believe in, but at the same time, not using force. It’s conscious sustained effort without force. Force is always met with resistance. When you stand in your truth, it just comes together.
Different Drummer
January 10th, 2012 § 2 Comments
My daughter is 6, and continually makes creations 24/7. From the time she wakes up before school, to when she comes back, before dinner, whenever, and wherever. I should buy stock in 3M for all the scotch tape she uses. She uses scraps of whatever is lying around, cutting, clipping, stringing and taping with a purpose that also seems altogether random at the same time. It’s the most wonderful thing to witness. No over thinking, no analyzing, no considering. She is a conduit for this endless source of creativity. It’s limitless and most of all, it’s fearless. And there is no sense of right or wrong until…she goes to school and is exposed to her peer group of 1st graders. It’s then that she realizes that her way of “seeing” is unconventional. And this effects her way of “being”. She has come to me with questions about this and I tell her to embrace her own vision and that if someone else makes fun of it or teases her about it, it’s simply because they can’t see it for themselves. I have had no influence over her creations. I wish that I could take credit. Any amount of credit. She has not seen my work, nor rarely sees me at work. It’s her own view of the world and I wish I had it. To witness the abandon that comes with not having yet developed a fear of being self-conscious is truly liberating. There is no baggage. Not even a carry-on, no destination. The sad thing is, that many other first graders are already afflicted with being self-conscious and I often times see them frozen and afraid to express freely what’s in their hearts for fear of being ridiculed while at the same time mock anyone who doesn’t fit the mold. This is first grade. I’m deeply saddened it begins at such a tender age. I impress upon my daughter that if someone doesn’t understand her way of seeing the world, it’s only because they can’t see it for themselves. Where would the Vivienne Westwood’s, Alexander McQueen’s or the Philip Treacy’s of this world be if they had listened to the peanut gallery? It takes commitment and bravery to be yourself. And in the end, that is the only person you have to live with.
paper mask and tu tu
unicorn headdress
skirt: cut-up felt puzzle wrap. sash: wrapping paper, fax paper and magic marker
materials. busy at work
Branding
January 6th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
These days there is so much talk about branding. I came across an excellent book on the topic called “World Famous” by David Tyreman. Despite the Clorox looking website, I highly recommend this book. It’s an authentic and soulful approach to identifying what makes you unique from everyone else, and many of us aren’t even sure what that is. It goes beyond your work. Tyreman asks you to dig deep and find out the “why” behind what you do. Something I discussed in my last post here. Your true authentic brand is a reflection of your purpose. What you personally stand for. It’s what you project to the world. The reason this book resonated with me so much is because David himself writes of his own hard knock experiences that we can all identify with. His story is of his struggle to make it in the antique business when unbeknownst to him, he comes to the realization that he himself, is his own brand. This book is not about fancy and expensive promotional materials and how to get your wares out on the market. It goes way beyond that.
Tyreman challenges you to come up with 3 words in which you feel define not your work, but your purpose. And this becomes your personal authentic brand. This may seem simple, but it’s not so easy. He walks you through several exercises to help you determine what those driving forces are. I read the book awhile ago, did all the exercises and came up with my 3 words. As in my usual form, I worked too hard at trying to find the right words, “thesaurusing” myself to death. I had settled upon 3, but there was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on that didn’t feel exactly right. I didn’t have an “aha” moment and I feel that with something as profound as choosing 3 words that best define you, the results should be somewhat dramatic. So I left it alone. I let it go. I even forgot about it. Again, it’s like waiting for that one person to call, or text or email and you are manic about checking. But it never comes. So you tell yourself you’re not expecting it but there it is, taking up space in the periphery of your brain. It’s still there and you haven’t truly surrendered. It’s during the one time that you let your guard down, that it appears. And that’s how I replaced one word that wasn’t quite right, with another that just came to me when I wasn’t looking. And to me it’s the most defining of the three.
David jokes in his book that his clients are willing to pay him an extra few thousand dollars if he’d just let them have one more word. But he doesn’t comply. It’s not about accumulating adjectives. It’s about defining yourself in such a way that it becomes a systemic approach to your process. You embody those words and psychologically whether you know it or not, it becomes unconscious and circumstances that don’t align with those 3 brand words, shouldn’t take up space in your hard drive.
My 3 words are “AUTHENTIC, DISTINCT, SIMPLISTIC” These words don’t just describe my photography, they describe me. The are interchangeable with whoever I am at the moment. They apply to my yoga practice, and my personal style. It’s my life’s philosophy. It’s a powerful exercise. It helps keep you on track when things become undefined. It’s a reference, a reminder of who you are, just in case you forget.
branded
will you stand out from the herd?
Inside Out – The Power Of Why
January 4th, 2012 § 3 Comments
This year I had no plans to make a holiday card. Then I started receiving them. People sending seasons greetings. Smiling happy faces, good wishes, so I felt inspired to send one. It was the 11th hour and I had no option other than to make and print one myself, if I were to do it at all. But I just didn’t want to throw something together. It had to be a true reflection of me. It had to convey the sentiments I wanted to give to others as we embarked on a new year. I’ve found out that you can have all the plans you want, but once you’re in that creative realm of actually producing it, stuff just comes up, other stuff doesn’t pan out and you just have to be open to any inspiration that comes to you during the process. For me it’s a combination of always over thinking things, trying to hard, and then letting go. It’s always in the letting go that the good stuff presents itself. It’s like being at a restaurant and thinking that the waiter that is walking towards you, dishes in hand, is headed to your table with your food, only to be disappointed when he turns sharply and goes to the next table. It’s only when you get tired of “expecting” that your food shows up.
The card that I ended up making was very simple. The response that I got was overwhelming. I had one friend tell me that she carries it around with her, she loves it so much. I was tremendously flattered and touched by the sentiment. I was curious as to why the card was so well received. It only occurred to me what it might be when I came across this TED talk given by Simon Sinek, about “The Why” When I set out to make my card, it was pure intention, and intention only, to show what means the most to me and to share it with others. It wasn’t driven by design, or composition. They were factors, but they were not the focus. Sometimes it’s a challenge to stay pure and not be distracted by other agendas or be results oriented when creating our art. But it seems that when it comes from the inside out, your gut, your heart, “the why” you can’t go wrong.
Front of holiday card 2011
Back of holiday card 2011
Whole Foods
January 1st, 2012 § Leave a Comment
baby cauliflower
It’s the end of another year. Looking back, I have no regrets about 2011. It’s been a very productive year. I tackled 2011 with gusto. Now that we are in 2012, I’m taking the opposite approach. I’m going to do less. Significantly less. And today I applied that strategy to the first day of the year and it felt just right.
A few weeks ago I was at a dinner party. I got into a very interesting conversation with an architect about journaling. I am actively participating in the book The Artist’s Way, and doing the journaling exercises religiously. It has been a profound and transformative experience. The architect mentioned to me that he had journaled in the past and loved it. Then he moved from writing his entries long hand to typing his entries in his computer. For some reason unknown to him he stopped writing altogether. He said it wasn’t the same, and he did not know why. The first thing that came to my mind was that he had interrupted the organic process. When you are expressing thoughts, ideas, feelings by writing long hand on paper, the process is transferred through you, onto the paper. But when you are typing on the computer, which I feel is more of an external experience, something is lost in the translation. Something valuable. I had been feeling disconnected in the final weeks of 2011. Overwhelmed all the time and in a way that told me that even if I had all the time in the world to “catch up”, and accomplish all my tasks, that I would still be feeling…overwhelmed. I had begun to reassess things and I came to the realization that I felt disconnected.
What I craved were whole foods, yet I was on a diet of over-processed junk with no nutritional content. Writing in my journal long hand was romantic. It was local, organic and chock full of vitamins. I had this craving to re-commit to my yoga practice which I have neglected and “Haven’t had time for.” I re-visited my yoga mat and it was exactly what had been missing. I felt whole and nourished. When I take the time out to “eat right” the investment you make in that deposit to yourself pays back 10 fold. It’s a long term gain. And the irony is, that I am more productive by slowing down. The nutrients have time to become absorbed, and as a result I have more clarity and sense of purpose.
This article was sent to me on New Year’s eve by a good friend of mine, and it came just in time. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/opinion/sunday/the-joy-of-quiet.html?_r=1&emc=eta1
By creating more technological ways to reach out and touch someone, we are more out of touch than ever. By being able to reach everyone, we’ve lost touch with ourselves in the process. I have retreated inward rather than outward. Old school hand written agenda. Hand made holiday cards. Hard cover books. I’d rather look forward to eating at a good restaurant once a month and enjoy it and have a memorable experience than eat out cheap every night.
Looking and not finding, and on finding when not looking
December 21st, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I met a photographer who I respect and admire for coffee the other day. I assumed we’d have the chance to discuss work, projects, you know, photography things. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, we got into an in depth conversation about life. It was completely off the map, and the best part was that it was totally refreshing and completely satisfying. What’s more, is that the rest of my day took the same direction. I was on a mission to finish my holiday shopping and had a list of specific items to get, and I knew exactly where to get them. In my mind there were no alternatives. I had a plan. I had my route mapped out completely but on my way to one store in particular, I took a wrong turn got confused and spotted a store I hadn’t seen before and ventured inside. Not only did I find a better gift than the one I had in mind, but I found 2 and as a bonus, had an interesting 20 minute conversation with the girl at the register who is a painter. That’s twice in one day. Totally unexpected, completely satisfying.
What became apparent to me was that I had unconsciously let go of this “set” mindset of what my plan and mission was. I had specific things to accomplish all the same, but ended up taking a totally different route getting there. It was a much more serendipitous day, which made it that much more enjoyable, and the list was no longer a chore. Rather than have tension accompany me on accomplishing my “to do” list, it just all sort of took care of itself seamlessly. Things just fell into place. When you have the ability to let go and be open to other alternatives, things just show up. When you’re locked into that tight mindset, you miss things. Wonderfully interesting things. And those things are always there. It’s just that more often than not, we’re not.
30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself.
December 19th, 2011 § 1 Comment
On the heels on the last post, 30 things to stop doing to yourself, Marc came up with an equally powerful list of 30 things to start doing for yourself. Just in time.
- Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
- Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
- Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled
.
- Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
- Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
- Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
- Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
- Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
- Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
- Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness
.
- Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
- Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
- Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
- Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
- Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
- Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
- Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
- Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
- Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
- Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
- Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down. Breath. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
- Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
- Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
- Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
.
- Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
- Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
- Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
- Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
- Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness
.
- Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
Life Tips: 30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself
December 14th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
What better time to instigate change than the end of the year. This list came just in time. I’m afflicted by 1,19,28 and 29. Which ones resonate with you?
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness
- Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done
.
- Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
December: Contemplating
December 13th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I’m interested to see what December brings. August brought us hurricane Irene, October brought us a snowstorm. What will be in store for December? So far it’s been quiet, not as cold as one would expect just a couple of weeks before the end of the year. I find the light to be uncharacteristic for December. Rather than cold and blue, it’s warm and golden like the light that autumn brings. As much as we’d like to try and predict, life, like weather, brings on what it does, when it does. We can only wait and see.
“Fear, Inspiration and Living Fully”
December 8th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
My projects often deal with difficult subject matter. There is so much despair in the world and we are overwhelmed with statistics and numbers that it’s mind numbing. The only way to cope it seems, is to live in denial. Compartmentalize, in order to maintain some kind of sanity. However, I find that denial as a numbing agent is never an effective coping mechanism. Avoidance usually just compounds the pain. Being with it, experiencing it, and moving through it, is the only real route to salvation. It’s not an easy road to take. It took me 4 years to get the courage to photograph my “Hit and Run” series. I was so sensitive to the topic that when driving if my husband saw an animal on the side of the road, he’d warn me in advance so that I could look away. Then one day I was walking my dogs and came upon a large opossum. It lay in the road, curled up and peaceful as if it were sleeping. I was confronted head on and this time couldn’t look away. It was in that moment that I committed to my project.
Transformation is what ensued. I was able to move from not being able to look at a fallen animal from inside a moving car, to standing inches away from one. Confronting what hurts me the most, was therapeutic. It enabled me to be with it, and move through it as difficult as it was (and still is) because my motivation was greater than my fear: Awareness and contemplation of our actions as a society, and our personal role in it. Like Chris Jordan, I love the world that we live in. I have a deep reverence for the beauty of our planet and all that we’ve been given, and we have lost our way.
In this interview conducted by Chase Jarvis, Chris Jordan discusses his work and hope for a better future.
Chris Jordan on fear, inspiration and living fully
Midway By Chris Jordan
“Symmetrical Cows” A Nod to Chris Buck’s “Symmetrical Cats”
December 2nd, 2011 § 1 Comment
I find animal behavior forever fascinating. It’s my favorite pastime. Recently I’ve spent countless of hours on farms, and often times the natural compositions these animals take on is simply uncanny. Chris Buck has 2 cats. They produce such symmetrical compositions (which he sometimes tweets about) http://twitter.com/#!/MrCHRIS_BUCK/statuses/141941957957132288 that if they weren’t 2 completely different species, you’d swear it was a trick. I was inspired by Chris’s humorous posts and extracted my own footage of symmetrical farm animals as a nod to his domestic felines. Oh, and including one pair of symmetrical pigs.
“Waiting On Dan”
November 23rd, 2011 § 1 Comment
Awhile back I took a portrait of Whiskey. Dan, a mechanic at my local Sunoco station, saw Whiskey on petfinders.com and gave the black and tan rescue a home. When I fill up my car at the station, I sometimes will stop in and say hi to Dan, who takes Whiskey to work, and see how they are doing.
Today I had to fill up my car and thought I’d stop in to say hello. I entered the station and asked the manager if Dan was working today. He paused for a moment and said “Dan has been deployed to Afghanistan. He’s a reservist. My heart sank.
My thoughts are with Dan and his family, and Whiskey who is being looked after by his dad. I’m reminded about what to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Waiting for Dan
It’s All Relative
November 21st, 2011 § 2 Comments
Tom and heat lamp - Linda Kuo
Since this is the time of year we all have to be dealing with relatives, I thought this post should be about it all being relative. Today my focus is on what is considered ugly? Turkeys are considered ugly. That’s the justification that most people give for eating them. They’re ugly, so off with their heads. I find them to be incredibly beautiful as I mentioned in an earlier post. They have a stature and elegance about them that isn’t widely known. I for one don’t see conventional forms of beauty but see things that are peculiar, quirky, and non-traditional. It’s just the way that I view the world. This comes from an inner most source of angst of course. The misfit awkward growing-up part of me that still exists and can be seen in my work. Nothing has ever come easy for me. My sisters were honor roll students, won trophies, ribbons and awards of all kinds. I had a hard slog and everything that I’ve ever accomplished in my life has come from running into walls, swimming upstream and trial by fire. (It’s how I learn best) It’s actually a blessing in disguise. I’m forever hungry because of it, and I’m grateful for my insatiable appetite to manifest a sense of worth.
Believe me I would much prefer if I could learn in a conventional setting, but unfortunately I’m just not hard wired that way. It’s frustrating. I do everything twice, once by making a mistake, and usually I’ll make that mistake over and over again until I have a “forest for the trees” moment and take another route. And a key component is that I’m fool hardy. For some reason I’ve gotten all my embarrassment out in my awkward adolescent years, and from being denied. Denied robust health, (I’m the canary in the coal mine kid) and easy A’s. So my pluck and moxie comes from “Well what the hell? What have I got to lose?”. But my successes are hard won. I fought my photographic style for a long time, and was attracted to styles like Peggy Sirota and Nirrimi. Freeing, ethereal and dreamy. But it’s not who I am and it took me awhile to embrace that. It’s true that your soul is revealed through your art. It cannot be any other way. At least not for me. It’s a process of being obsessed with emotion. Thus I am attracted to things that are out of the ordinary, yet have a tightness to them at the same time. A controlling uncomfortable aesthetic. I heard someone say once that the reason they like New York City is because they need to have a certain amount of dirt in their life. I understand completely. I’m never one to be comfortable with being too comfortable. And it’s not being subversive for subversive sake. It has to come from an authentic place.
I’ve been told my images are isolating and lonely, but have deep contemplative value. I don’t stop to consider my work. It’s odd to think that, but I just “do” the work and it manifests on it’s own, and sometimes out of my control. So what is ugly? Many artists have become notorious for their work on things that we overlook, consider ugly, or don’t give consideration to. Irving Penn has photographed refuse in a way that makes them aesthetically beautiful. He has exposed the beauty in the ugly. ” Once you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer
Irving Penn
Brown Bananas Irving Penn
cigarette butts Irving Penn
chicken parts Irving Penn
November – Conserving Energy
November 18th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
They days are shorter, almost all the leaves have left their branches, and the temperature begins to drop. Nature is in a stage of dormancy. During this time of quiet and contemplation, the groundwork is being laid for the burst of activity to come in the spring. The time is ripe for planting, and preparing for the next season. I have an empty spot that is in dire need of a plant in the front of my house. All the plants are on sale now, and I was wondering if it was too late in the season to take advantage of the sale and put something in that corner. I was told that now is the perfect time to plant because you don’t have to water, as plants are now in their dormant stage. All things are conserving their energy, even though seemingly still. Nothing is every completely still. Doing nothing is still doing something.
Bells and Whistles
November 17th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
There is a man who plays his guitar at the 68th street station in Manhattan. He mostly plays classical guitar, which I love, and if I could learn another instrument, that is what I would play. He’s simply marvelous and I could stand there all day not only listening to him, but watching him. When he plays, it’s watching pure joy. When he knows he has an audience, he lights up inside. He’s fantastic and his instrument is a piece of crap. It has cracks throughout it’s body, with old stickers and tape holding it together, yet the music that comes out of it is full bodied, nothing missing, pure soul. It’s not the instrument. It’s the musician. No bells, no whistles.
68th street subway station
November – The Beauty of Tom
November 10th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
People say that Turkeys are ugly and stupid. I beg to differ. I think they are fascinating and incredibly beautiful. In fact Benjamin Franklin wanted to make the turkey our national bird. They are proud, inquisitive and sensitive. I have sat among a rafter of turkeys and if you speak, cough or sneeze, they all “gobble” in concert. It’s as if I was the grand poobah at a lodge meeting.
The turkey trot is something to behold. The Tom’s are beautiful and proud as they strut, grunt and shake their feathers. Their wattle turns red when they are upset or during courtship (so either they were upset by my presence, or trying to court me. I’m assuming the later since all the tom’s were doing the trot!) It’s the most wonderful thing to witness.
The feathers on wild turkeys are incredilby iridescent. The colors would be impossible to reproduce on a pantone chip. This month, I choose to celebrate the beauty of this fascinating bird.
the turkey trot
Greed Is Good
November 9th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I’m really disappointed today. More so than I have been in a very long time. It’s about people behaving badly, and greed. Hoarding. Entitlement. Keeping all your marbles to yourself and not sharing.
Last night a friend of mine wrote to me about an acquaintance of ours that had recently graduated from a program where 2 of the graduates had secured work and contacts at a well known publication. She asked if they would provide her with the contact information of the editors, and neither of her colleagues would share their information.
When I was a yoga instructor at a studio in Manhattan, I had a unique style of teaching. I would have teachers come in, take my class, and copy down my class sequence, then turn around and teach it to their class, claiming ownership. I had a student ask me if that upset me. It did at first but then I realized that it will never be the same. It won’t delivered in the same way because they didn’t own it. They didn’t create it. They weren’t the source. It was a one off.
From what I know of all the people that I revere the most, who are at the top of their game, and the most successful, they give all of their knowledge away for free. From Paul Arden:
“DO NOT COVET YOUR IDEAS“
Give away everything you know, and more will come back to you.
You will remember from school other students preventing you from seeing their answers by placing their arm around their exercise book or exam paper. It is the same work, people are secretive with ideas. “don’t tell them that, they’ll take credit for it.” The problem with hoarding is you end up living off your reserves. Eventually you’ll become stale. If you give away everything you have, you are left with nothing. This forces you to look, to be aware, to replenish.
Somehow the more you give away the more comes back to you.
Ideas are open knowledge. “Don’t claim ownership” They’re not your ideas anyway. They’re someone else’s. They are out there floating by on the ether.
You just have to put yourself in a frame of mind to pick them up.
Justin and Mary Marantz have “panckake sessions” on their blog where they reveal all their information, tips and advice. Zack Arias just gives and gives and gives. Nick Onken is also one of those individuals who freely gives back to the community, photographic and otherwise. It’s these individuals who are the true creatives. These are the true artists who realize that by sharing and giving authentically, their creative well is constantly being replenished, and it only brings more inspiration back to the source.
THE COOKIE THIEF by Valerie Fox
With several long hours before her flight
She hunted for a book in the airport shop
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see
That the man beside her as bold as could be
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene
She munched cookies and watched the clock
As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by
Thinking ”If I wasn’t so nice I’d blacken his eye”
With each cookie she took he took one too
And when only one was left she wondered what he’d do
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half
He offered her half as he ate the other
She snatched it from him and thought “Oh brother
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude”
She had never known when she had been so galled
And sighed with relief when her flight was called
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat
Then sought her book which was almost complete
As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise
There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes
“If mine are here” she moaned with despair
“Then the others were his and he tried to share”
“Too late to apologize she realized with grief”
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief
